It can be so difficult to figure out what you should do or what you should say after the fight or in the midst of trying to prevent one.
And there are so many things to consider, right? Will I make it worse? Will it do any good? Will they even understand or change? What's the "right" thing to do? Is this even how I should be feeling about this?
Back and forth, round and round...with these questions knocking around in your head.
Let me just go right ahead and declare something outrageous.
The decision around whether or how to express yourself does not come from a clear understanding of the ripple effect of your words (you're not a fortune teller). And it sure as hell doesn't come from your best guess about whether what you say will be popular.
Let's all reorient for a moment, shall we? And remember.
The decision around whether or how to express yourself comes from...YOU. We express not only to get a message across to someone else, but maybe even more importantly, we express because doing so is how we stay connected with and give expression to our own truth.
Expressing what needs or wants to be expressed keeps us from getting sick. It gives us a chance to tell the truth and to feel fully expressed. And feeling fully expressed is its own feeling, its own need.
When the only measure of whether or how you express yourself is how you imagine it'll be received, well, you've just gone and given away your power. And your voice.
Here's another option:
Expression for expression's sake.
Your voice is not for them. It's for you. It's to be used by you as a healing tool to help you work through the pain, talk through the hard, and listen to yourself for clues about the deepest truths of you.
It's to set a boundary or to reveal hard truths or to share how you feel or to offer words of wisdom or to say how much you care.
It's to let that sadness, grief, ecstasy, pain, love, or celebration OUT. You have a voice in order to give voice to your internal experience.
And yes, using your voice to tell your truth (whether it's vulnerable or to set a boundary) is also a way into connection. It's just that this isn't the only criteria to use when deciding whether to use it.
Ask: Am I expressed? Am I true? Am I listening to myself? What wants to be said through me? What sounds need to come out?
Alright, Beautiful Humans, what've you got to say? Let the world hear from you, ok? And please use the share button below to express this out to your peoples on FB.
I'm working on it too. With love,